


Do you think the Moon is jealous of how pretty you are

by Angelscythe



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Violence, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Sad and Sweet, Short Stories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-01-20 20:22:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18532462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angelscythe/pseuds/Angelscythe
Summary: Axel and Saïx have always been a part of each other life.Lea and Isa have always been a part of each other life.At every moment of their life, they have been together, couldn't untie their special bonds. Every moment has sense for them.Every instant, every bond has been testimony by the Moon or the Sun... slowly, they have seen their love grow through the difficulties.





	1. Stormy Night

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everybody!!  
> First of all, english isn't my first language so, please, don't mind the amount of fault. I hope it'll still be readable for you. Especially because I've dislexia.
> 
> This collection of short stories will come at any time. I just like to write Akusai Leaisa as a therapy to feel better. I'll try to keep the short stories connected and as possible in a chronological order. (Expect angst, expect sweetness)
> 
> PS : The name of the collection come from here => https://angeljaem.tumblr.com/post/182200474739/sentence-starters

Storms were really rare in Radiant Garden. This World had the reputation to be the prettiest World of them all so most of the problems must be thrown out of this World, ignored, erased…

Obviously, when a storm decided to hit the World, it was pretty odd.

Lea had managed to run away from his home, not that he felt endangered there… but yes, he did, but because he had another mission now!

It was the night and thunder would fall at every moment, big clouds hiding the Moon and the stars. It was so dark and it was really hard for Lea to move in the streets. But he knew by Heart the path he was taking. Unless a bin would have been moved in his way, unless someone was crazy enough to be out in the streets, unless a house would have suddenly popped like a mushroom, he will have no problem to reach his destination.

And yes, he was crazy.

Oh, so crazy.

He ran to the house he was seeking and as the wind was swirling around him, hitting him with hatred and no mercy, he slid in the course of a big home…

He couldn’t push the door and entered the house and no one would throw him a long mane for him to climb in.

However…

There was a heater system along the wall and he climbed on it. Yes, obviously, it was warm, very warm, but he didn’t care… His hands, his arms could become warm. It was okay.

He lifted himself until he reached a window at the third stories and climbed on the sill. There, he knocked against the glass.

The storm was still roaring around him and he had his fingers clenched around the stones so he wouldn’t fall. When the window opened, the wind hit him hard, as revenge, but a sweet hand grabbed his wrist and tugged him inside.

“You’re okay?”

“Yes, yes, I’m okay! And you?”

His friend was moving backward, shivering a bit, and Lea had to close the window. Just at the moment where the thunder hit the ground not far away, making quiver the glass.

Lea ran to the other and took him tenderly in his arms.

“There is nothing.”

Storms were rare but that didn’t mean there weren’t know. That didn’t mean one couldn’t fear them…

Isa feared them…

That was the reason why Lea had crossed the town, whichever he was now completely wet, covered by the cold rain.

“I’m here,” he whispered at Isa’s ear.

The other teenager always tried to show confidence, as little emotion as he could, not showing when he was sad or happy because they taught him to don’t do that. And yet, Lea had always pierced this shell and discovered the tenderest things Isa tried to hide. He kept it secret, just in his Heart, but at least… at least, he was there for him. At least, he was the one hugging him, easing away the pain that was piercing through his flesh…

Isa was really glad about this.

He loved being in Lea’s arms, just against his Heart because it was always so warm. Not only this always kept his always cold body warm. Not only his gelid skin but always his mind, every inch of his inside.

“Come,” said Lea, tenderly, sliding his hand in his.

He brought him softly toward the window. The wind was still hitting hard against the glass and the sound coming from outside was impossible. Isa was trembling as he followed Lea. If it wasn’t for Lea, he wouldn’t have moved. He had such a confidence in him.

Thunder hit the ground, a powerful crack echoed around and a scream came out from Isa’s mouth as he closed his eyes.

“It’s okay, Isa. Everything is fine… Do you trust me?”

“Yes… Yes, of course.”

“Come. Nothing can hurt you as long as I’m here.”

Lea moved back a little more, holding out his hand as much as he can so the contact would be broken. He sat on the large sill and a lightning hit at this moment, surrounding Lea’s silhouette with a pure Light.

Isa blinked and then looked down, letting him tug him toward the window. He did nothing to stop him but nothing to move by himself to this…

The window shivered again and so his.

When his knees hit the wall, he looked up, just a bit.

Lea opened the arms to him with a smile.

A bright smile.

It was hard not to reply to this…

Isa closed his eyes for one second then fought his fears because he had nothing to fear if Lea was there. Maybe it was stupid because he did know what could appear in the Dark, what a storm could hold and how much this was challenging for his heart. But he had so much confidence in Lea…

He forced himself to move and climbed on the window sill. Lea helped him to love himself in the hook of his arms, just between his legs so he could hug him and protect him with his entire body. The glass shivered again and Isa tried to ignore it. Lea pressed his head on his shoulder.

“Everything will be alright. You’re inside,” he reminded softly. “You’re with me.”

“I know. This is ridiculous…” Isa said, not daring to look him.

He moved his hand to his and entwined their fingers. Honestly, he had always thought he would be the one protecting him. Because Lea always seemed so happy, carefree, frivolous and also he was so thin… But Lea had shown how much when something mattered, he could become the anchor point…

And when it was about Isa… of course, things mattered.

“It’s not ridiculous. No fears are ridiculous,” Lea replied to him with softness. “But you don’t have to bear this,” he swore. “I’m here.”

Isa pressed his back against with tenderness and he closed his eyes when the thunder roared. Just after the deafening sound had been replaced by something softer, something he wanted to hear forever: he could hear, feel, Lea’s heartbeat. It was the sweetest melody in the World. He wanted to hear it forever.

He had a tiny shiver when he felt fingers passing in one lock on the side of his cheek.

“You’re having fun?”

“Hmmm… Yeah, of course,” Lea smiled, though Isa couldn’t see it.

As he said this, he moved slightly the blue hairs and stared at his face with a smile. To him, he was just so beautiful. No one could reach such an amount of beauty. He loved him with all his Heart. There was nothing, no one that could tear this love out of his Heart, who could ask more attention. He who was quite careless, wanting to have friends but struggling to keep them, honestly, he was just making a fuss on him. When he felt him shivering, he hugged him more, rocked softly his body and pressed tender and innocent kiss on his skin.

As he took care of him, like that, the storm seemed to calm a bit and the cloud moved away, letting the moon peek across them.

Lightning far away made Lea look toward the sky, right in the Night, and he noticed the celestial appearance. He smiled.

Maybe the Moon was jealous because for once, Isa cared more about him than her. Usually, the night, Isa would look at her but lately, his best friend, the person he loved the most in the World, seemed to prefer his company than seeing the stars and this beautiful Satellite hovering above them.

 

 


	2. In the Darkness of the Night

A few months ago, when Lea had wanted to become one of Ansem’s apprentices, Isa wasn’t sure it was a good idea. Of course, their King was good and, of course, being one of those who had the privilege to live in the castle was a thing but, on the other hand, they could be together. All the time.

They didn’t have to sneak out to each other houses or, more likely, Lea didn’t have to sneak out to join him. They could eat together, study together… Sleep together.

Well, technically they _couldn’t_ sleep together and that was the last thing for what they have to sneak out but it was a tiny thing and though the guards and servitors had certainly noticed those jaunts, they never said anything.

Together, they had learned to fight with the Guards and even more together.

Before the time in Castle, they used to train together but not as much. Not until the point their bodies went sorely. And something else had changed. Before, when they trained together, Isa wasn’t really the kind to fight and trained more to please Lea who always wanted to improve. Maybe because it was vital for him? At this time, when they fought, Lea would always have the upper hand on him. Especially because he used to sneak out as a shadow but with the training, slowly but surely, Isa got in muscles and technics and the fights were now a breathtaking struggle between two people and you would never know who would win.

Though… Lea started to believe Isa did his best not to humiliate him…

A few months ago, when Lea had wanted to become an apprentice, it didn’t seem a good idea but now… Now it seemed a way better idea.

Well…

Until today.

Because today… Today everything was strange. That had started when they had heard screams in the basement and Lea had sneaked out to see what had happened there. He was tinier, thinner and used to honeycomb everywhere. Few time after, Isa had heard rumors among the servitors when Dilan and Aeleus had been called in the laboratory.

Lea still wasn’t there.

And now, the rumors continued. Horrible.

Isa pressed his back against the wall to listen to two men, one a broomstick in his hands, talking about what they had seen.

“She came out of nowhere… She had brought chaos with her.”

Isa didn’t know about whom they were talking and honestly he didn’t care. At first… Because he could hear a crack far away. A storm?

Storm were rare.

Very rare.

And yet, there was one now.

The sky was becoming Dark.

So Dark…

A crack echoed outside and screams inside.

Isa couldn’t move, his fingers shaking against the wall, but turned his head toward the cries. What was that?

He closed his eyes for a second and new screams echoed. When he opened them, he saw a lightening breaking the dark night and… a thing creeping on the floor.

At first, he thought it was just a shadow cast by something. Like a big cloud. But suddenly, the thing when out of the shadow and showed big luminescent yellow eyes.

What was that?

The thing approached him…

He stopped breathing.

The thing approached more and a new cry echoed against the walls. A servitor passed just next to the strange shadow that leaped on it and… under Isa’s eyes, the person had been swallowed by a really dark aura as something pink and shiny popped out of his torso. Isa had the opportunity to see it yet and never would never have guessed it looked like that. He had seen a lot of representation but he only thought it was that…

Especially because it exactly looked like the tiny drawing Lea did on his notebooks, in the margin, just next to the Moons he dreamily drew as they were studying. He would never miss a lesson would never miss that Lea kept drawing those hearts.

And yet… it was one of those hearts he had seen float in the corridor before the man disappeared…

As if it was satisfied, the thing disappeared.

Thunder roared again and lighting keep the Castle under a soft, but creepy, gloom for seconds. Someone should turn on the lights but… everybody was too busy screaming and shrieking.

The sounds were echoing again and again. It was like the most macabre song.

Isa’s heart was drumming in his chest. It was hurtful. The pulsations were reverberating in his head.

The windows shivered, the screams flew in the castle and… despair was spreading.

“Lea…”

Isa had to move.

He was frozen but he had to move. Those things were creeping around, invading the Castle and stealing Hearts. It couldn’t be just one. It had to be others too. Obviously, there were others because screams stopped suddenly, because when he looked outside, he noticed strange Creatures, because everything was becoming darker.

“Lea!”

Isa forced himself to move.

He had to join him. He moved against the wall, his back rubbing against it. He gulped when a roar tumbled around.

“Lea…”

Isa moved away from the wall, trembling on his legs but moving. He tried to forget the fear in his guts when he heard a new rumble. He shook his head and ran toward the basement. If his best friend was somewhere, it was obviously there.

He ran as fast as he could.

He ran until his breath came out with many difficulties. Between fear, anguish and efforts, it was like every training had been swallowed by the Darkness.

Though, he arrived in the basement and huffed when he climbed down the stairs. Here, there were a lot of those strange and little Creatures. Those shadows with eyes. But more he moved toward the guts of the Castle, more they were. More they looked strange…

They seemed to be armored at this point and he had to avoid them.

He had noticed, lately, that Lea was able to use fire, not much but still, and he wished he could do the same because… how could he reach him now? The only thing he had found as he was running to him, wherever he was, was a big book he could use as a weapon.

But… against so many shadowish things? Against the fear that caught him and froze him each time he heard the thunder rumble or the wind hammer against the Castle?

Still, he had to reach Lea. Lea was more important than anything so he climbed down the stairs. Again. And went toward the unsupportable Darkness. Everything seemed to be thrown in the shadow. He could only see yellow light here and there.

He knew from what this gloom was coming…

He had to cross it.

And he did, only moved by one thing.

He ran as fast as he could, moving his book to hit everything around him. He felt nothing, heard nothing but still…

When he arrived in the deepest part of the Castle, or at least the common part, known by the apprentices, where there was a bit of light. More appealing. More normal.

“Lea?!” he called.

He swirled on himself, arming his book-weapon, but there was nothing. Not now.

“Lea?!”

“ISA!!”

“Lea!”

Isa ran toward his best friend who did the same, taking him in his arms, hugging him tightly, pressing his forehead against his with tenderness.

“Isa!”

“You’re okay?” Isa asked, sliding his hands on his cheeks.

“Yes! You’re okay?”

“Yes. Especially now that you’re fine. I couldn’t bear losing you,” he muttered.

“I’m there. I’m just there.”

Isa nodded, his hands still on him, the book on the floor between their feet. He was so happy to see him alive and fine.

When the thunder rumbled outside, the redhead hugged him more.

“It’s okay. Everything is fine… Nothing can reach you.”

Isa nodded once again. “However… I don’t believe it will be over. There are things. They’re killing everybody, Lea. Shadow is killing them all.”

“Shadow?”

Isa bobbed his head once again. Quickly.

“I don’t understand what’s happening. They are tiny characters jumping from shadow, black with just glooming eyes and… I saw an employee dying from their hand. His Heart… popped out of his chest and… it was over.”

“What?” Lea muttered.

“I know,” Isa replied.

“We have… we have to run away.” Lea moved his hand to the laboratory. “They have disappeared… They just… There is no one anymore. Nobody.”

“Nobody?”

Lea shook his head, fear on his face.

Isa understood better why they have to run away…

Where?

He had seen the storm. It was an awful storm that didn’t seem to be ended. Or maybe it was because he was so afraid. But this one was really bigger, stronger, darker than ever… He had felt the earth quaking.

For a second, he hesitated to tell it to Lea. Maybe he imagined everything. Maybe he shouldn’t say it to Lea because it was hard enough like that.

Lea slid his fingers along Isa’s skin to grab his hand softly. He entwined their fingers.

“Come,” he said.

Isa nodded and followed him. They had to run away. They had to find a way… They burst in the shadow again, pressing against each other as they climbed the stairs.

Looking around, they could see yellow disks…

Isa tried to ignore them and squeezed more Lea’s hand as he made him cross the Darkness, the invasion of those tiny characters. They ran. They ran because… what could they do more?

Thunder and screams were ruffling around, playing a tragic and awful song. No one wanted to hear it and yet, it swirled in the walls of the castle, echoing. Again and again.

Nothing could stop it.

It was pursuing them in a mad melody…

When they tumbled in the corridor after the steps, they felt relieved: they were saved. Yes, the storm was roaring, casting wind against the windows and landing rain in an unbearable racket, but they were out of the deep shadow. Out of reach from the Creatures lurking in it.

Lea jumped when he felt something around his ankle. Something unpleasant became hurtful and he moved back, bumping in Isa.

“What?”

Lea saw the blood around his ankle, along his skin… He also saw the glooming cloud.

“Isa…”

He pointed out the things.

Isa tugged back Lea.

“It’s them…”

“Wh… what should… we do?”

“Leave the castle.”

Lea glanced to the storm then looked to Isa. He nodded. They had to go outside, yes, and he had to help Isa when the moment will come because he knew it would be hard. It wasn’t possible that the whole World was covered with this. They could find a safe place.

Exactly at the same time, as if they could read in each other thoughts, they moved and ran in the corridors. Except the thunder and the storm hitting the windows, the walls, they could hear nothing.

No more screams.

Did everybody was dead?

Isa didn’t want to think about it. He just ran alongside his best friend, trying to forget what he had seen. Trying to forget the anguish creeping around.

They just ran.

On their way, they could see water leaking around, see shattered glass on the floor.

The storm had been fierce, breaking everything.

It was so powerful they wondered if the Castle could quiver and collapse on itself.

A tiny character-shadow jumped from the Darkness of the corridors. The tiny claws dug in Isa’s arm and he let out a tiny whimper. Lea hit the beast with his foot. It didn’t seem to touch him as such but it moved back.

“You’re okay?” Lea asked, tugging back his best friend.

“Y… yes.”

“Don’t worry! I’ll protect you!” he said with a big smile.

Isa moved back, forcing him to do the same, because they have to run away. Now, he realized that Darkness was really surrounding them.

But Lea’s words were in his mind as a powerful Light, a powerful confidence that hugged him tightly.

“Come!”

Lea squeezed his hand and ran as fast as he could, crossing the duskiness. He was used to running so he was really fast. Isa tried to follow his pace but it was hard. He, he wasn’t that used to flee away, he was heavier… But he didn’t complain and did his best to follow in the wake of his best friend.

More they ran, more they had to face the shadows around them. Bit by bit, the dark was getting inch over the Castle and more and more yellow sphere appeared. The wind was roaring so strongly… Rain was sliding by the shattered windows. Always news openings were broken by the violence of the wind. It was as if the storm was already inside the building…

But they arrived to the big doors.

Their last hope.

Yes, they could have tried to pass by one of those broken windows but the shatters of glass were awful trap, ready to mark them, to offer them a terrible fate…

“Courage!”  Lea said.

They were running a tiny passage among the dark now. They could see the tiny claws coming from there and there were so many glooming disks. Lea kept giving hit of his heel to push back the tiny characters and his legs started to be as red as his hair…

The path becoming even tinier, Isa slowed a bit, he pushed Lea in front of him when he saw him imitate him.

“Run!”

“But…”

“RUN!!”

A tiny shadow jumped on him. Isa bowed to avoid it and almost stumbled.

But the door was there.

Lea dashed to it and pushed the huge board, with his two arms. It was so heavy… No wonder why Aeleus and Dilan would always move them. Together.

He felt something on his ankle, something on his back.

He let out a moan of fear and panic.

“It’s me!” Isa said, pressing his hands on the door, helping him to push.

Slowly, the swarm was approaching…

“You frightened me!”

They pushed together. Pushed to the freedom. Pushed to the only path they still have to save their lives…

The door opened.

The storm roared outside, the wind hitting their face, the rain sliding in their hairs.

Lightning broke the sky to let them see everything around.

Isa didn’t fear that lightening, even if he was followed by a powerful thunder sound just after.

He had seen a horror that his dread couldn’t fight.

They had pushed a door to arrive in a sea of tiny-characters. Just spitting out from the Darkness itself. A hungry sea… A compact ocean…

“Wh… what…” Lea hiccupped in disbelieve.

From what had they run away? They had escaped to a lion only to find another one?!

“Lea!”

Isa grabbed Lea as lightning hit again, making him shiver a second of even less. He made him turn toward him with shaking fingers.

“Some chance remains. You could find a secret place to hide you, I have no doubt. I know it’s meaningless but I’ll give them my Heart and while they’ll be fighting over it…”

“NO!” Lea protested.

The Ocean was closing over him.

“Without you… my _life_ is meaningless. I don’t want to hide without you. I don’t want to live without you…”

Isa shivered. But it wasn’t because of the lightening…

Lea was crying.

Isa slid his hands against his, entwining their fingers. His lips brushed one cheekbone, where a tear slipped. Then the other. At the exact same place.

Lea approached his lips from his in a shiver, still crying.

“Can I…” he whispered.

Isa nodded. He wanted to say to him how much he loved him. He wanted to give _him_ his Heart.

Their lips brushed. Lea’s lips were so warm. Isa’s lips were so cold…

They were about to touch them for real. As they always wished…

And Darkness swallowed their Hearts…


	3. Cross and Tears

Everything was black. Everything was pain. He was unable to move. There was just, pain, pain, pain and that black that seemed to fill him.

And suddenly.

The Light.

He tried to reach her. He couldn’t move his hand but he could sense that he was moving it. To the Light. To something else. Something bigger. His fingers almost reached it, reached the warm. At the moment his hand closed around the Light… it disappeared.

Or, more likely, everything became lighter. He could see again! He could see he was under the ray of a pale Moon and feel the grass under and around him. He wasn’t in Radiant Garden anymore… He could sense it. Something in his guts was telling it to him.

In his guts…

That was weird because he felt like… like something wasn’t right. As if he lacked something but he couldn’t say it. He tried to find back his memories and discover what had happened but his mind was really numb…

He could remember the storm and…

“ISA!!!”

He heard a groan and turned his head. His hand was still entwining with Isa’s and he could see his face under the soft light coming from the Moon and the stars. As if the big satellite was waking him up too, calling him, the gloom caressed the eyelids and Isa opened them slowly, his hand squeezing Lea’s.

Lea smiled even more when he saw his eyes opening.

And yet, it was weird because… the joy he was feeling seemed… distant? Absent? Fake? For a tiny second, he wondered… why he wouldn’t be happy to see Isa? Why those feelings wouldn’t be real? Why wouldn’t be his…?

“Isa? You’re okay?”

“Y… Yes… Where are we?”

Everything he could remember was the storm, the tiny creatures that appeared in the World and the feeling to lose everything. To lost Lea. He could again see his tears, his fear… So many bad emotions.

It was hurting him.

Hurting him in the deepest point and yet…

Yet, something felt wrong.

Even in Lea’s smile. Who could reproach him to have a fake smile, if it was that, after the fear he had encountered.

They were about to die! He had seen when those creatures had jumped on the others to ravish them their Heart.

He moved his hand to his chest as the other was still entwining with Lea’s. He was actually happy to have their fingers linked that way. Lea’s strength was helping him much in this strange moment.

“Something’s wrong, Isa?” Lea worried.

“The whole situation…” He squeezed softly his best friend’s hand as he watched him. “We’re supposed to be dead.”

“Maybe we’re in Heaven! I see the most beautiful Angel there!”

Isa blushed so much he was almost as crimson as Lea’s hairs. He pushed his friend’s face with his palm, looking away.

“You’re obnoxious.”

“Huehue!” he giggled. “Never said I was talking about you!” With his free hand, he pushed away Isa’s and pressed a kiss on his cheek. “But, of course, I was talking about you.”

Then, his fingers slid softly along a tiny lock, pushing it to discover the face beaming by the moonlight. When the moment had come, he was so afraid not to see this face again. To be taking away from him forever. To be deprived of seeing his Moon shine in his life and Heart again…

“Do you know how to come back to our place?”

Isa shook his head to this question. Of course, no. He could sense that the place wasn’t them in something in the air, in something swirling in his guts but facing that their World was destroyed and that they were somewhere else now?

He wanted to believe they were just on the same place, just out of the problems of this invasion but they would have seen the Castle if they had just been pushed away by the storm…

“You’re okay?” Lea asked.

“Yes.” Isa could remember Lea crying. Lea being so strong for him when he was in fact so terrified. “And you?” he worried.

“I’m okay.”

“Let’s go, then.”

Isa got up and squeezed Lea’s hand, helping him to get up.

“Where?” his friend wondered.

“I don’t know. Somewhere. Anywhere…” Isa turned his head toward him. “As long as you’re with me, I’m ready to walk across the World.”

Lea grinned. He felt… weird. Good weird and bad weird as the same time. He was happy but that wasn’t the same kind of happiness than usually. And this weird happiness wasn’t related to the fact he was so deeply in love with Isa because… it had always been like that. He had always deeply loved him. When he was younger, he thought Isa was _just_ his friend but slowly, he had understood that this wasn’t friendship. Which didn’t change the fact Isa was his best friend.

But he loved holding his hand, craved for special tenderness… and he wanted to make him happy.

Each second of his life.

 

 

The Moon was still lightening their way, softly, tenderly. Their hands were still holding the other’s, their fingers entwined. They had walked for so long and yet, they couldn’t know where they were. It was… It was really different than theirs, though. They could see strange things passing extremely quickly along the long road. They could see building extremely high. All seemed to be as big as the Castle of Ansem the Wise.

At first, they had been surprised, in disbelieve.

But now, after a few hours to wander, they were getting used to that. They had seen worst. They had seen those creatures, wanting their lives… Certainly getting them, in fact.

But Isa still didn’t understand how they were alive.

Maybe he had imagined those Hearts popping out of the chests? Maybe those creatures were just teleporting people around?

Maybe…

They walked. They walked and walked. They didn’t feel exactly the sore in their muscles, neither the dampness of their hands still stuck to each other. And strangely they didn’t have to find any courage. Pursuing a quest where they have no goal seemed to be normal. Logical…

Logical…

Lea never worked in logical. It was always his best friend, the boy he loved so much, who acted that way. As for him, he preferred just follow his Heart but today, now… he didn’t… feel it? He was just doing what he had to do. No thoughts about this, no sadness, no fear. Maybe just a bit of incomprehension…

As they walked again and again, in the different lights, the softness of the Moon and the stars against the force of the City around them, they noticed something.

A silhouette.

A silhouette walking toward them.

“You’re here,” it said.

The two boys stared at it.

Isa could recognize this voice but, at this exact moment, he was unable to say who bear it…

“Who are you?” Lea asked, walking in front of his best friend.

Isa glanced at him then to the silhouette, owner of a grave voice, as it walked even more to them. Nothing seemed to stop it, not ever their darkest look. They were just kids… what could they do against an adult?

Isa felt rage in his guts.

The voice was grave and warm but not friendly…

They had survived, in a way, the tiny Monsters in Ra… Rad… wait, how their World, their home, was called yet? But now… now they had to encounter someone who just mistook them for another? Or any weirdo who wanted to end their lives.

Lea’s life?

The adult arrived next to them and he pushed back the hoodie he had on his face, showing the caramel skin of his and honey eyes.

“Xehanort?” Lea asked.

The man shook his head.

Lea frowned even more because he could recognize the favorite apprentice of Ansem. They had passed so many hours together, learning and working. Sometimes, Xehanort would even teach them things. He was nice, intelligent and very open. Ienzo and he used to see him as a mentor, a big brother… Isa less but he was always with them anyway.

“I’m not Xehanort anymore. Now, I’m Ansem… However, I lost my Heart and got a new identity… Xemnas will be my name from now on.” He moved his hand, his fingers tracing a X in the air. “You can change your identity too,” he said, moving the X.

Lea frowned even more when he saw the transparent and shiny letters hovering in front of his best and dear friend’s forehead.

“What are you saying?! You’re mad?!”

“I’m not mad.”

“What happened? Please,” Isa asked.

“The Wise let the Darkness destroy our World. There is nothing left now. Almost nothing, at least,” Xehanort, Xemnas, said to them. “I’m gathering those who were strong enough to resist the Darkness. Those strong enough to survive without their Hearts.”

“You’re saying nonsense! Nobody can survive without their Heart!” Lea said.

“Yes,” Xemnas replied. “That’s why we are Nobodies,” he smiled, widely.

“What are you saying?” Isa wondered. “That… we have lost our Hearts? That’s impossible…”

And yet, he saw it. He really saw what those tiny creatures did to people. He thought he had dreamed this, hallucinated it, however… However, now he wondered if it wasn’t true…

“But we have Hearts!” Lea protested.

“You don’t. You feel nothing. You can feel nothing.”

Lea shook his head.

“I feel! I can feel the happiness! I can feel the anger I’ve against you! Why are you lying to us?!” Lea burst.

Isa glanced toward his best friend. His rage was growing as he heard Lea yell like that. Lea was always happy and nice, why showing such anger? Why becoming so different… as if his happiness had faded away in a matter of seconds. And the rage grew even more because… Because it was unfair. Because he couldn’t accept that Lea’s smile would vanish forever.

The Moonlight was glooming over them three as Xemnas let out a chuckle.

“You can’t feel anything. But you’re able to remember what it was like. That’s what makes you special. Enter my Organization, retrieve a meaning. You who are nothing, Nobodies…”

“STOP IT!” Lea yelled. “Just fuck you! You think we want your… your stupid what?!”

“The power.”

Isa looked up at him, his fists clenched.

“The power? Why would we want your stupid power?!”

Xemnas replied with a smile. Cold and dark. “Why not becoming mad? You’ll see, it would be less boring.” Still this cold smile on his lips, the man stared at Isa. “See, your friend seems to seek this power!”

Xemnas held his hand to Isa.

The boy twitched, not understanding what was happening.

“Come.”

“LEAVE HIM ALONE!”

Lea ran toward the man who grabbed him by the throat, without even looking him. He lifted him without effort and let Darkness and power flooded from his hand.

“See. Now, I can reduce you to nothingness. You’re nothing.”

Xemnas threw him with violence, making him bounce on the floor.

Lea let out a cry of pain. Isa’s rage disappeared and he ran to his friend. Falling next to him, on his knees, he saw the tears rolling over his cheeks, a bit of blood was running along the scratch the ground and the tiny stones had done to him.

“Lea…”

Lea did his best to swallow the tears but he just couldn’t, they were rolling on his skins. Because he was hurt, because he didn’t understand what was happening. And if he was crying… that meant he still had a Heart, right?

“I didn’t know you were a whiner. How were even able to survive to your being ripped out of your being such a child?!”

“We didn’t have…”

“Silence! You have no use for me!”

Xemnas let Darkness floods from him, ready to turn this boy into a Dusk, a puppet who wouldn’t try to cry on him. Something useful, at least.

“Perish!”

Lea’s closed his eyes when the beam of Darkness bounced to them, sobbing. He felt something against his hand and then warm.

Unbelievable warm when this night was so cold. As their bodies, without Heart to keep their heat…

When he opened his eyelid, he could see blue and white fire all around them and the Moon beaming over Isa’s face. But his eyes were white. Just white.

He was terrifying, getting up like a puppet to turn slowly. More flames burst from him.

“Touch him and I’ll kill you,” Isa warned in a really cold tone.

The second after, he dashed toward the man, his elbow throwing in his belly as his feet slid against the man’s. He spread them quickly to make them fall on the floor.

He did fall.

Alone.

Xemnas bend on him, grabbing him by the hair. Like a beast, losing until his last ounce of Nobility, Isa swirled and bit him as hard as he could, fire spreading with crack and heat. His nails dug in his skins, trying to rip the flesh.

“I… Is… Isa?” Lea hiccupped, trying to come on his knees.

The man showed a cold smile even though the blood was rolling over his dark skin. He could feel Darkness coming from the boy. A lot of Darkness, licking his members, trying to win a fight they couldn’t.

And yet, those were beautiful Darkness!

Xemnas turned the boy with violence and pinned him to the ground.

It was what he was seeking for… Not only the ardor but also the Darkness and the strength…

“You… You’re mine,” he whispered.

Isa roared and his teeth dug deeply in Xemnas’ flesh. The man grabbed a stone on the floor as his Darkness and his blood invaded Isa’s mouth.

“For now and forever,” he said.

“NOOOOOOO!!” Lea yelled.

He bounced on his feet and ran to his best friend but he heard his scream of pain and when he arrived, he saw the stone ripping Isa’s forehead open. You could barely see one thing with all the crimson spreading over his face.

And Lea’s eyes were still blurred by tears.

“DON’T TOUCH HIM!!!”

At his surprise, flames burst out from him, melting with the blue and white one. Quickly, the smell of caramel replaced the irony one. But couldn’t make vanished the horror as Xemnas was tracing the second bar.

“Oh, so you do will be useful,” the man said, moving the stone quickly.

Isa let out another scream as his body shivered in pain.

Lea replied to this scream with rage and ran to Xemnas, letting the fire swirling around his body.

He was about to reach him, to calcine him, when his body crossed something dark. He fell on the floor, a white floor, from a place he didn’t know at all. Plunged in the dark…

He turned his head, and his whole body, in panic and hiccups. He then saw Xemnas crossing it, holding Isa in his arms. Rage came back in his guts.

“Isa!”

He started to get up but a heavy weight just knocked him on the floor, his head hitting the hard ground.

“Lea…” Isa moaned.

Lea understood that Xemnas just let Isa fell on him to prevent him from moving…

“Isa is no more. Lea is no more,” the man stated as he let appear letters in the air.

He made them swirl. Swirl as a Storm. Swirl as a Storm they couldn’t run away from. A Storm that promised to be forever in their lives…

And suddenly, he moved his hand. A big X appeared. Big χ freezing all the other letter, hovering again more or less in front of Isa’s forehead who struggled to breathe as he tried to get up.

The χ was in the middle of their name entwined.

“Saïx… Axel,” Xemnas smiled, “my members Seven and Eight…”

At those words, Lea and Isa… Axel and Saïx felt like the last bit of their Humanity just has been ripped off. If someone was able to just change their name as if they were nothing, if they couldn’t fight for each other, maybe they really were Nobodies?

Saïx turned slightly his head to Lea, and saw those tears rolling over his cheeks. He pressed his forehead against him, moaning because of the pain. None of them listened to the sound of the pace walking away…

“Is… I…”

Axel couldn’t pronounce the name, as if Xemnas had cast a Taboo on it. Or perhaps it was just because he had failed to Isa so many times?

“As long as you suffer… I will be strong. I will be strong for you… I will not cry anymore…”

Saïx kissed his cheek, just under the eye. One then the other. As he did before they lost their Heart… But this time, the magic of the Moon that was still swirling in him flew softly and landed in him, tracing upside-down tears. Melting red and blue. Melting Sun and Moon.

“This would help you…” Saïx whispered as his eyes turned back to normal.

To normal?

No… Because, as Axel took him in his arms, helping him to rest his head against his shoulder, pressing kisses over his forehead… he realized that Isa’s beautiful blue-green eyes he loved so much swim in, sink in… where turning honeyish in the center.

In fact… his ears bearing the earing he offered to him… weren’t they slightly spiky?


	4. Amaranth

In the Castle of the World That Never Was, all corridors were the same. No wonder why Axel was lost here. Finding his own room seemed impossible.

Well, he didn’t exactly search _his_ room because even if he was there since only three days, he already had planned to sneak out in Saïx’s room every time he could. He just expected that no one would notice it and stop him from doing that. But, to be fair, everybody seemed to be lost here…

Xemnas was acting like a King over his subjects and Braig… well Xigbar was still the same as he was. But Lexaeus seemed even more mute than before and Xaldin suspicious… Vexen seemed to be mad and Zexion followed him everywhere, his hands shaking and his eyes full of tears…

And Saïx… his Isa…

With a shaking hand, Axel pushed the door of Saïx’s room and he felt a burst of emotions when he saw his best friend, the one he loved, sat on his bed, hugging himself and looking for an inexistent spot. A burst of emotions? No, nothing. He had no emotions because he had no Heart. It was just his brain, his body who fake everything for him, making feel like he was alive when he wasn’t…

Xemnas said that this impression will stop one day. That he’ll stop having the _feeling_ he still had a Heart, he still could care…

In a way, he wished it.

The day they’ll stop fake those feelings, Saïx will stop looking so… sadly moved. But could he stop worrying and care for him?

He was sure he could never.

It wasn’t possible his body and brain will one day forget how to love his Isa in every existing way…

When Axel opened his mouth, he wanted to say the tender name of his best friend but he only could pronounce the new name Xemnas had forced in him.

“Saïx?”

He had a shiver when the honeyish eyes looked up toward him. He still could see some hint of turquoise here and there but they were so rare and Axel felt like they were disappearing one by one.

He approached him, letting the door close, and climbed on the bed to approach him, passing his arm around his body. Saïx shivered a bit in his arms but he moved toward him, letting the embrace swallow him. It was the warm of his best friend, of the one he loved, and it immediately helped him to forget the last events.

Though…

When he watched his ears, his eyes or even his forehead…

No wonder why Saïx felt so bad. His body and his mind had been mutilated, just after that his Heart had been ravished by the Darkness?

The only thing Axel wished was to be able to erase all of this. To make him forget everything.

“He…” Saïx couldn’t bear his look. “He came.”

“Xeha… Xemnas?”

Saïx nodded. “He came when you have left… He asked me…”

Axel frowned even more because Xemnas himself came to him and asked him to leave for a stupid and inutile mission. Now he was sure he wanted just an excuse to have him away from Saïx. As much as he was sure that his best friend wasn’t supposed to say the following to him…

But he’d be there for him anyway.

He didn’t fear Xemnas.

“He asked me to kill someone.”

“Wh… what? Kill someone?” Axel repeated in horror.

Saïx nodded. He didn’t know the person, he knew nothing about them but that didn’t change. He couldn’t kill someone, whatever he was knowing them or not. It was taking a life.

Taking away the life of someone who did nothing to him…

Could he steal someone breathe forever if he did something to him, though?

No.

Certainly not.

“Wh… why?”

“I believe he wants the Darkness to fill me… If I take this life…”

“You don’t have to do that!” Axel protested.

“What do you want me to do except that?” Saïx asked.

He plunged his eyes in Axel’s and saw him flinch, wanting to look away. So _he_ looked away with a shiver.

“Saïx…”

Axel hated himself.

He let go on him and turned around him to see him right in the eye. His fingers slid along his cheeks.

“If I don’t follow his wishes, we will be evicted. What will remain for us in this case? Where do you expect us to betake? Darkness is everywhere. We can’t escape it…”

“But you don’t have to do it,” Axel said. He leaned on him and pressed his lips over the scar on his forehead. Despise the stitches. “I’ll do it for you.”

“What are you talking about?” Saïx asked.

He closed the eyes when he felt the kisses landing on every stitch. The slight pain he was feeling was nothing. And a tiny smile even appeared on his lips, despite the fear, when he felt those kisses on his eyelids then his ears, on the spike edge. He opened one eye to look him.

“L…” He closed the said eye. “Axel. You can’t…”

“I can. I’ll do it. I’ll handle all the dirty work. For you.”

Saïx pressed his hand over his and moved to him, his lips brushing his. Axel closed the kiss, softly, tenderly, giving him all his love instead of his worries. And he had much…

To him, Saïx had already suffered way enough from Xemnas.

He’ll kill that person. He’ll do the icky job and keep Saïx’s hand clean, keep him away from the Darkness…

 

 

“Stay here, okay?”

Saïx looked Axel who was scotching knives to a round clock he had found. Using his foot, he had hit it to destroy the inside so he could grab it and use it. For the second, it was more difficult and he had used pieces of glasses from the first clock that he slid around a plate. This one was harder to hold and since he had broken the first by trying to make a hole in it… Sharper speaks that he slid on his weapons.

More efficient.

“You don’t have to do it, Axel.”

“But I will,” he replied to him.

He approached him and took one of his weapons in the other hand. So he could pass his fingers on his lover and best friend’s cheek, rubbing his thumb on his cheekbone as he pressed his forehead against his.

“You don’t have to support more. I’ll do everything for you.” He gulped, wanting to mutter the name. His real name.

But he had failed…

He had failed to make him happy yet. When he watched those honeyish eyes, when he saw the turquoise sparkles disappear, he could feel how he was unable to protect him.

Not again.

Never again…

“I’ll do everything for you too,” Saïx replied.

Axel smiled at him and moved back before gathering his energy to open a Corridor of Darkness just as Xemnas had taught them to do… They had used it to see if they could run away before realizing everything was destroyed. Ra… He couldn’t remember the name of their Home World but this World was there but so different, so horrendous… way more than what Axel was used to when he lived in the poor district of this World…

They had nowhere to go…

When Axel crossed the Corridor, Saïx waved slightly in his hand, his fingers shaking.

And he realized there was something humid on his cheek. Passing his fingers on it, and bringing them to his eyes, he saw the blood. His best friend, his lover, had certainly opened his flesh on his weapons… He had spread the blood on his hands.

Just for him?

 

 

Saïx was waiting. Not in a tight ball like before but walking in the room, doing again and again the same movements… Well, the room was quite tiny so it was almost like turning like himself. Like a caged lion. Like a caged wolf.

Xemnas never came in the room, fortunately, because he didn’t know what he should have to explain there.

But he was expecting that.

He was expecting the man to just arrive and discover what they were doing. And he was afraid. Extremely afraid. He didn’t want Xemnas to hurt Axel.

And as he thought that, he wondered…

Shouldn’t he not feel all of this?

He had no Heart…

Those was just ghost memories. But was it really? It was so good to feel Axel’s warm. Good to be with him…

How all of this could be a lie his brain was creating to him.

On the other hand… after the suffering of receiving a part of Xemnas in him… how his brain couldn’t create this lie for him?

He felt something strange and turned his head. He saw the Darkness appears in front of him and didn’t understand how he could feel that so easily. As if it was a perfume in the room so he just couldn’t miss it…

When he saw Axel coming out of this Darkness, he flinched. Axel had always been associated with the red to him. Of course he was red, he was warm, loved the cozy clothes and he had bright red hairs…

But now… Now, he was even redder.

Red that had sparkled on his face like thousands of freckles, red on his hands, on his clothes… on his hair too. You could see it as it was dripping from him. Sliding on his skin and drawing signs on it. He still had his ‘weapons’ in hands. Red too.

“Sa… Saïx, didn’t think to find you there?”

“That’s still my room,” he replied.

He approached him, gulping slowly. He passed his hands over his cheeks, brushing the hairs and letting the red color his skin too.

He knew that the shivers passing through his body were because of him.

For so long, he had been so weak, being the one needing his best friend. Again and again. And so, he felt he had to do everything for him. Saving him, killing for him… everything… The weight of this burden was, little by little, making him sink in the Darkness. Axel didn’t have to protect him like that, didn’t have to save him if it was to sink himself in the Darkness…

He had to be stronger.

He could be stronger here… Be the one protecting Axel for everything he had done for him.

He pressed his lips on his skin, whatever the red was staining him or not, accepting to be the one washing this blood forever, to take the blame and to clean his conscience forever.

“I’ll protect you,” he said in his ear.

Axel smiled slightly, letting go on his weapons and passing his hands on his cheeks, caressing them slowly.

“Thank you. I’ll protect you too,” he uttered.

He pressed a tender kiss on his forehead, on the ugly X, and fingers caressed his skin more. Saïx let him do, approaching his brow from him, pressing it softly against his.

“You’re truly the most beautiful person I never saw. The most beautiful…” He hesitated to say the word. He didn’t want it to look bad… “… Star in the whole Universe.”

“Star?”

Saïx blinked.

“Yeah, like the Moon!”

“That’s a satellite.”

“‘You’re the most beautiful satellite’ doesn’t sound catchy. I’ll keep going with Star!” he smiled.

“You’re the most beautiful Star, you’re my Sun. My only Light.” Saïx grabbed his hand and squeezed it tenderly.

This tenderness he only had for him…

“Every night, you were watching the Moon, thinking it was so beautiful. But I’m sure it was looking you too and thinks ‘Damn, this boy is so pretty!’”

“I don’t believe the Moon can think.”

“In my mind it can and it’s deaaaad jealous that I got you!”

Saïx couldn’t help but smile slightly. He looked down but felt the finger coming in his locks.

“You’re feeling better, uh?”

Axel nodded. “Because of you. You make me feel alive. And if I’m good enough for you…”

Saïx looked up at him.

“… I don’t care if I’m a bad person or not.”

“You’re not a bad person.”

“Look like!”

“Don’t be stupid,” he said before kissing him. “You’re awesome. You will always be.”

Axel smiled and kissed him tenderly, thanking him. For everything.

 

 

Days passed, one by one. They were long and always the same…

But it wasn’t a problem, in the end. Saïx had his head on Axel’s chest, listening to his breathing as he was sleeping. He never really slept with him when they were Humans but the few times they did, he could hear a soft sound.

No, there was nothing.

He wasn’t even sure that the breathing wasn’t a reflex from the body…

Knock echoed against the door and he jumped, sitting quickly and grabbing of Axel’s weapon stained by blood.

The door opened without one of them having welcomed the visitor.

When he saw Xemnas enter, his hand shivered a bit and a hand came on his, supporting the weight of the weapon… Supporting him.

Xemnas didn’t care much for Axel, his eyes barely brushing him and immediately coming to Saïx. He approached him and ripped the weapon out of their hands. He watched the blood spread over it.

“I never felt your Darkness quitting this place…”

His Darkness? Saïx didn’t know what he was saying. He could… feel his Darkness?

“… I thought you hadn’t done what I asked you for but when I went to your target, he was dead.”

“That’s for the reason I did what you asked me for.”

“Don’t lie to me!” Xemnas said with a cold tone.

Axel clenched his fists. He wanted to jump on him and hurt him…

“I told you I know you never left the Citadel. You can’t fool me.”

His hand reached out Saïx and grabbed him by the throat, lifting him. Axel jumped on his weapon and pointed it out toward the man.

“Touch him and I swear, I’ll kill you,” he said.

His tone had lost its entire warm and there was a real thread in it. The thread of someone who already has killed someone. And was ready to start again because he didn’t have anything to lose anymore.

Xemnas looked him with interest for the first time. He felt his Darkness and he smiled calmly.

“He had killed for you, isn’t it?” Xemnas said.

Saïx watched him and he felt like the man was seeing through his soul, in the deepest part…

The words he said had stabbed him. Right in what left of his feelings…

The guilty overwhelmed him, of course, because of what all those feelings must do to his lover. It was hard to imagine Axel killed someone cold-blooded and yet… this special form of his best friend, this tenderness, this purity… blow away.

“And you… You loved him when you were Human?” Xemnas said to Axel.

“I still love him!”

“Don’t get too attached to those feelings, they’re nothing. Just a lie you’re telling yourself. You have no Heart. No feeling. But you remember that and fool yourself.”

“I’ll never stop protecting Saïx!” Axel warned. “Let go on him or you will regret,” he said.

Xemnas grabbed the weapon and broke it.

“You can’t do anything with that,” he said. “But if you wish to keep taking lives away, I’ll give you better weapons.”

“I’m not doing it for you!” Axel replied, fiercely.

The man let go on Saïx and smiled politely, yet coldly, to him.

 “I know.”

In these words, he walked to the door and closed it, letting them in the room but also leaving something Dark. Something that seemed to nestle in their guts. And wasn’t ready to leave.


	5. Between your arms

The Night was Endless, just Endless…

Tonight, as other night, Axel was lying in his bed. He was doing that so often because he had nothing else to do… The only difference was that Saïx was with him.

It could have been perfect.

But the absence of Sun or Moon just reminded how it was different from the time they were Humans. The time they had their life in front of them.

Now, it was nothing. Just hours passing one by one. Day following the other and nothing to do except responding present each time Xemnas asked them to… In fact, most of the time, Axel was sat on Saïx’s desk while he was working and he kept talking with him. That didn’t prevent his beloved from working.

After two years, he really got used to all of this and could easily juggle with everything. The only thing mattering what the fact they were together. Always together.

 While they were supposed not to have Hearts, not to have feelings, Axel still claimed his love again and again. He was still there to cover him of kisses, to hug him and to ask him to come to sleep with him. A soft tenderness that Saïx accepted even if he felt the hollow in his body. He was sure that the only thing letting him remember the past was the fact he was with someone obsessed by the memorization of everything.

Without him, he couldn’t even remember what it was to _love_ being in your special being arms.

At this moment, he was in his arms, not hearing the sound of the heartbeats he used to love, just staying next to him. Because… it was the only anchor point he had in his life. The only thing a bit positive remaining in a storm of problems…

If he could have a Heart, he would give it to him.

Without a doubt.

But, instead, he moved out from his arms, frowning.

“Can you feel it?”

“The love in the air?” Axel smiled.

“No. This Darkness. I don’t know it…”

Axel sat in the bed. Yes, if he concentrated, he could sense it, actually… He wasn’t the best to scent the Darkness around but, there, he could. And yes, it wasn’t familiar at all. Though he wasn’t as good as Saïx or Xemnas or even Zexion. For him, they were all a bit the same…

And yet.

“Is it a danger? Should we let them kill everyone?” Axel smirked. “Except us, of course!”

“That’s not possible and you know it,” Saïx replied.

“Come on, let’s give a try!” he said, walking after him as his partner moved out of the room.

And then, to the place he could feel the Darkness. It was on the Grey Room… The place where most of them meet each other but that Saïx avoided as much as he could. He preferred to pass his time with Axel and nobody else…

After a few moments, they entered in said room.

There was someone they didn’t know, for sure. And he was already wearing the Organization’s coat… That meant he was fully accepted as a new member and that was kind of weird. Years had passed since their lives, and their Hearts, had been ravished from their chest. Things had changed, their hairs had grown, they have doubted of their feelings if they were only memories, their loneliness had grown too… Their scars had healed, though some were still well anchored in their memories… Saïx’s eyes were golden-honeyish now and his ears spiky as Xemnas’ but never someone had joined their ranks.

For those years, it was like they were trapped in a sad loop, redoing the same things again and again, not having any control over anything.

And now? The time was clicking.

Swirling.

Changing.

“Hello!” the guy said.

“Hello,” Xigbar snickered. “Here is Demyx, our new friends! Demyx, here are our two lovebirds.” His lips turned in a wider smirk. “Well, that’s what they said.”

“What they said?” Saïx replied as Axel moved his hand to say ‘hi’ to Demyx.

Which replied to it.

“I don’t think you’re really lovebirds.”

“Why?” Axel asked. “I loooooooove Saïx!” he said, throwing his arms around him to hug him tightly.

Saïx, though, moved his hand to stop him.

“Because of that?”

“No! We’re quite glad you don’t start to lick each other in front of everyone!” Xigbar replied. “But since none of you played with the other under the sheets.”

“How could you know? Since we’re not ‘liking each other in public’ so we’re not talking about what we’re doing in our room.”

“Yeah, it’s still your room, by the way. And I can sense it. I played under the sheet enough for that. Well, no, excuse me: you certainly never fucked each other.”

“Why are you always talking nonsense?” Saïx asked, folding his arms.

“You just don’t know in real life, dear. When two people are together since enough time, they’re supposed to do it or they don’t love each other. That’s it.”

Saïx frowned. Then, he looked toward Demyx.

“If someone is taking care of you, very well. Welcome to our Organization. Follow the rules, do your best for the sake of the Organization and don’t make trouble. Or you’ll have to face your errors,” he said with a firm tone.

“O… Ok… Okay.”

Demyx blinked and watched him. Fear seemed to swallow him and, staring him, a smile on his lips, Axel could totally get it.

Sometimes, he even feared his lover.

His lover…

He turned on himself and quickly followed Saïx who was walking back to their room. Whatever it was in his room, whatever Xemnas told him not to share his room with Axel… Axel was gifted to sneak around and his favorite place to sneak has always been Saïx, or Isa,’s side. It was the only thing Xemnas couldn’t take away from them.

Their affection for each other.

Even if they didn’t have feeling, just memories… They were tied to each other. Deeply.

But on the other hand…

“Do you think he’s right?”

“I don’t listen to Xigbar’s nonsense.”

“I try to. But sometimes it is nonsense isn’t nonsense. He’s right in a way, isn’t he? Every book you gave me… They have a romantic story. In every of them. And often they… you know. Go…”

“Don’t say ‘under the sheets.’ You’re better than the words this man could say.”

“This not-man. But…” Axel ruffled his hair.

In fact, it wasn’t the first time that Xigbar talked about love that way. Wasn’t the first time he talked about sex as if it was the thing to do. And he wasn’t the only one. Everybody here seemed to have been with someone that way… well, everyone in age to do it. You wouldn’t expect Zexion, following Vexen everywhere and grabbing the lowest part of his coat, to do such a thing.

They always talked about passion.

Normality.

“We only kept our feelings memorized but…” Axel hesitated and walked a bit quicker to push open the door of Saïx’s room. “… you do think what Xemnas said. It’s just memories. Is it something? Xigbar, among others, said it could be something if we’re doing it. Something here. Something in our Nobodies state. We could… be sure to be a couple?”

Saïx entered in his room and turned to see his partner.

“What is it, Axel? What do you want?”

“If it’s true… if we have no Hearts and just a memory, how to know our feelings are right. How to know we do love each other? When I say it, it’s a lie?” Axel entered the room and closed it after him. “If it’s the only thing two Nobodies can do to affirm their…”

“Relationship?”

“Yes… I don’t want to lose you.”

Axel looked down. He didn’t fear to take away lives, he didn’t fear his nightmares as long as Saïx was with him, he didn’t fear to cry neither anymore… but losing him?

Saïx moved his hands, entwining their fingers.

“You won’t lose me,” he said with this tenderness he only had for him.

And his lips pressed against his.

 

 

Breathing was echoing in the room, smothering every other sound. There were no heartbeats to hear and even those pants and gasps seemed to be artificial.

In the bed, the sheets ruffled and twirled in parts, almost falling, they were both lying.

Axel was holding Saïx’s hand, pressing it against his chest, over his absent heart and his thumb slid over the skin. But he was looking at the ceiling, laid on his back. Exactly like Saïx who had his other hand clenched around the sheet, tugging a bit to hide a huge part of their nudity though they had seen each other naked countless times.

“That was…” Axel started.

Saïx glanced at him. He turned on his side, still feeling Axel’s palm against his chest.

“… special.”

Axel sighed loudly.

“It was weird for you too?!” he asked, alarmed and eased at once.

“Yes, it was.”

“But… we’re a couple, right?”

Saïx watched him and slid his fingers along his cheek before pressing his back against the mattress again.

“I guess we are,” he replied. “However… this seemed so vain. Hollow.”

“Maybe because we have no Hearts?”

“Perhaps because it wasn’t… the right time?”

This time, Axel went on his side, using his elbow to keep him lifted and he watched that skin he used to touch so often with tenderness and love. That skin that had been pressed against his in this moment only filled with void when they expected love. They had done so often so many things with more interest toward each other. Even this time when he was holding his lover in his arms while he was doing his work with the reports… or that time Saïx went into the shower with him because he was sparkled with blood, making disappear the real and the invisible scars from each body, by caress, by delicate touch. Just talking sometimes…

“Xigbar is an idiot. He was probably wrong.”

Axel watching him, watching the light blue hair pasting against his skin, on his chest, on his face though others were a bit ruffled. He watched him with a smile because, there again, he noticed how much he was pretty, beautiful. More beautiful than anything than the Moon he loved so much. That no pale light could make him more beautiful. Not because of the not-passion they had shared just… because it was like that. Saïx, Isa, had always been the most beautiful person he never saw. His favorite person ever. The one he got his Heart ripped out of his chest for and vice-versa.

He was the most beautiful person because he was the only one to have the very key to his Heart. The only one to read his Soul like no one.

“I love you. You’re my everything, Saïx. I don’t know if it’s real or not but… it seems real to me?”

“You’re the only one I want by my side, Axel.”

He pressed his forehead against him, switching and raising enough for that. His scar seemed to disappear at this moment, just letting his Heart talk. Or the memory of his Heart.

Words didn’t matter because their love was real.

For them.

Without the opinion of the flesh. It had not brought much. Except that they wished they could have waited longer…

Whatever others could tell.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a tiny reminder that love is love. Whatever how you're doing it. You don't have to do sex because it's what people are supposed to do according to nature law. And if you want to do it, it should occur at the moment you wish for it and not because anybody force you to. Whatever it's the society or you're loved one. It's your body, your experience... don't ruin it.  
> Take care of yourself!


End file.
